Success is not final, failure is not fatal:
It is the courage to continue that counts
Winston Churchill
Whether struggling with issues of masculinity, identity, purpose, or otherwise,
please know that no topic is too big, small, rudimentary, or insignifcant, that we can't discuss and address it together.
Come allow me the priviledge to help you decode and decipher what you're experiencing, while we work towards devising a plan for your future success. You are not alone!
To help determine whether or not I'd be a good fit in helping you pursue your therapeutic goals,
I invite you to book a FREE 15min consultation using the button below.
*If you already feel comfortable enough with me and/or are ready to begin your journey towards health and wholeness,
head on down to the bottom of this page and book your first appointment!
Looking forward to helping you heal, hope, and thrive!
Please let me preface this section by stating that by offering a section devoted strictly to men and masculinity, am I in any way attempting to be exclusionary, or dismissive towards the women of our society; nor am I “man-centric” in my philosophy. I have simply noticed a persisting male-specific problem in our world and I want to help.
You see dear friend, while social, psychological, and even personal problems facing our women today are readily accepted, addressed and defended (rightfully so), the flip-sided reality is that sadly, many of the same problems tend to be ignored, minimized, or altogether denounced as being valid when it comes to our fellas; especially as it pertains to various abuses.
Not only has this lead to an increased stigma surrounding men's mental/emotional support as a whole, but also, is likely a contributing factor to the apprehensivesness and fear many of our men confess to feeling when considering reaching our for help. This becomes even more evident in the face of the derisive taunting and/or mocking which tends to follow a report of female to male spousal abuse from a society who all but demands its husbands and fathers to be, not only unwaveringly resilient, but productively competent; even in the face of extreme circumstantial poverty, and lack of support from a largely apathetic system that appears to be indifferent to their pleas for help. Sadly, the resulting disparity of this has created a "gender paradox" in which the suicide rate in our men eclipses that of our women by a ratio of 4:1 (dramatically rising to 8:1 post-divorce). Thus, I believe it is something we ought to be working towards reducing as a collective.
Generally recognized for their strength, resiliency, determination, and poise under pressure, it is often received by surprise when it's revealed that, underneath the seemingly rugged exterior, sometimes larger-than-life demeanor, there ofttimes lies a frail and fragile ego that is afraid to fail, and even more terrified by the thought of being insignificant; endlessly confronting the internal urge, perhaps even desire, to simply roll over and quit the battle of having to overcome the seemingly ceaseless pressure to "do more with less".
Adding to the precariousness of the situation, many of our men remain internally plagued by a number of generationally inherited maxims such as “men don’t wear pink”, “big boys don’t cry”, and perhaps the most damaging “nobody cares; just get it done”. This not only becomes confirmed, but also undeniably highlighted when the likes of our own Mental Health Commission here in Canada itself reports, that there have been shown clear links between adherence to traditionally masculine norms and reduced mental health literacy, help seeking, and the use of mental health services. And so to me, there’s little speculation required to understand why most of our fellas would feel reluctant to admit to anyone, health professional or otherwise, that they were truly struggling. But by not reaching out, these hurting souls don’t ever get the benefit of receiving the love, support, and compassion they require (and deserve); nor the benefit of truly knowing the value they hold to others.
This is where I want to help!
A few of the more prominent issues facing our men today are:
Wounded/Emasculated Masculinity – This can be identified as the gap between how a man feels about himself and what he believes about what it means to “be a man”. It can also be manifest by persistent feelings of embarrassment or shame of himself as a man under the perception that he is somehow lacking in that department.
Effeminate Actions – Although certainly not the case, given the stereotype surrounding gender, and the false belief system of “being a man” mentioned above, the thought of exhibiting behaviours that are more “female” in nature still appears to exert immense negative effects on many of our fellas.
Intimacy – Intimacy is a word that describes the quality and depth of the connection we share with another; and when fostered correctly, can lead to rich and meaningful relationships. Often confused with sex however, especially with the fellas, intimacy is something that many men are quite literally terrified of pursuing, at risk of either being considered weak, effeminate, or worst of all vulnerable.
Anger – Speaking of vulnerability, on the flipside of intimacy, or better yet, in defense of protecting the "exposure" that intimacy/vulnerableness can bring, many men typically resort to anger or aggression in these instances as a way to keep others "at arm’s length" thus safeguarding themselves when threatened (whether real or perceived).
Sense of Purpose – Perhaps the most common reason men eventually seek help is due to lack of purpose or identity. Whether it be, doctor, dad, husband, plumber, professor, or friend, it appears that a man’s identity is almost entirely wrapped up in what he does, rather than who he is! Which could also serve to help explain the gender paradox in suicide; given the fact that once his purpose is effectively “taken away” in one way or another, all of a sudden, suicide appears to be the “better” option than facing/enduring a life of loneliness, perceived embarassment, or worse, insignificance.
And so, if any of you fellas happen to find yourself experiencing any of these, or any other struggles and strains right now, I urge you to reach out for help! Not only am I academically and experientially qualified to help; it is my innate desire to walk with you through this rough patch, and to help ensure we don't lose another husband, father, brother, etc., prematurely.
And in case you haven’t heard it lately;
You are able,
You are respected, and
You are loved.
But most of all,
You are valued, and this world needs what you have to offer!
Come let me help you see that today!
The intake/follow-up session formats, functions, and costs will be applied to the parameters of your specific (individual, couple, or group) as per those outlined within the specific pages found in the above menu.
In line with the individual, couple, family/group parameters on the respective pages. And as the same as those, these sessions but may be lengthened on occasion if the situation warrants.
****IMPORTANT****
Longer sessions WILL NOT be booked until the party(ies) involved have been fully briefed as to the reasoning for it, and have consented to the extension.
Copyright © 2024 Flip Flop Family Therapy - All Rights Reserved.
We use cookies to analyze website traffic and optimize your website experience. By accepting our use of cookies, your data will be aggregated with all other user data.